Worth Waiting For

By Lianna Lipton

To have sex or not to have sex, that is the question that confronts many teens. But Bridget Maher, policy analyst at the Family Research Council says that many teens, especially girls have sex because they want to feel loved. But most of these young girls don't anticipate the consequences of having sex. "[Girls] often feel very depressed, and it lowers their self-esteem," she said. "It's just so awful. They're having sex with this guy; they think he is going to be there for them when it's all over, and nine times out of 10, he's not." ¦ That's one of many reasons why Maher contends that

there needs to be more federal funding to support abstinence only education programs, which specifically address the emotional problems associated with premarital sex. Operation Keepsake in Cleveland, Ohio is one such program. Founded by Mary Ann Mosack in 1988, Operation Keepsake teaches abstinence in schools and youth organizations. Their mission: to empower young people to remain sexually abstinent until marriage.

Part of this program's effectiveness comes from the fact that the teachers are teams of college students. One such student teacher Brianna Healy believes this is very effective because the college students use personal life examples to illustrate the points they make. "We discuss how we might have been made fun of [for remaining abstinent] and how we dealt with that, and how people respect us for it," she said. Some of her newly empowered students now brag about feeling comfortable telling their boyfriend that they've signed a commitment to remain abstinent. If the boyfriend is not equally committed, then they can find another girlfriend.

In addition to addressing STDs and boundaries in relationships, Operation Keepsake addresses issues of self-esteem and respect. Their Gender Approach Project (GAP) helps young people deal with being taken advantage of. "[We ask them] how would you like it if a guy came and started hitting on your sister or treating her disrespectfully," said Healy. GAP discusses the importance of girls being "treasures instead of targets" and boys being "protectors instead of predators." "Even if a girl does dress a certain way, that doesn't give you any right to treat her a certain way and to take advantage of that," Healy said. "You still need to treat girls with respect, and you need to think of them as if they were your sisters."

While these programs promote abstinence-until-marriage, they don't exclude young people who may have already been sexually active. "If you are [sexually active], it's never too late to turn your life around and decide, 'I'm going to remain abstinent from here on until I'm married,'" said Healy. "We call that a secondary virgin." Nevertheless, Maher stated statistics show that 57% of high school students have had sex by the time they graduate, meaning that there is still a sizable group of young people who are neither virgins nor secondary virgins and need more information than is given in programs such as Operation Keepsake. For them, comprehensive sex education programs, also known as "safe sex" education programs become important. These programs typically focus on prevention and various types of contraception. Organizations like Planned Parenthood Federation of America, understand that young people are making decisions every day about sex and it's imperative to educate them about contraceptive choices, helping to avert unwanted teenage pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

Maher contends that these comprehensive sex-ed programs actually encourage teens to have sex. "Abstaining from sex is, by far, the most effective way to prevent all these diseases," she said. "Condoms are only about 85% effective in preventing AIDS, and that is when they are used consistently and correctly. And there is no evidence to prove that condoms help to prevent a whole host of other sexually transmitted diseases."

Even though there have been many debates on the issue of which type of education is better to teach teens and reduce rates of STDs and unwanted pregnancies, Healy feels the message to teens is clear: "You're worth waiting for...everyone is so special. No one needs to feel pressured into sex at all, and waiting to have sex until you get married is so worth the wait."