Fri May 18, 2012
Erline Vendredi
Giving Life To Remembrance
By Erline Vendredi, Haiti – May 2010
A few weeks ago, I was talking with a sophomore I met at the Johns Hopkins University’s Spring Fair about what he was going to do for his mom on Mothers’ Day (May 9). He said he wasn’t to do anything. He said, his mother was “annoying” she “speaks too much” and she “calls him too often on the phone,”
Coming from Haiti, I could only think about the sons and daughters who wished their mothers were alive so they could dote on them this Mothers’ Day, celebrated the last Sunday in May. Surely this year’s celebration was a very solemn affair for thousands who lost their mothers in the earthquake (Jan. 12).
In fact, mothers in Haiti have always enjoyed a special reverence. Perhaps this reverence derives from Africa with tribes like the Igbo in Nigeria who have a deep respect for the earth because it nurtures life through agriculture and rain.
In 1805, a year after Haiti won its independence from France, Emperor Jacques I (Haiti’s first head of state) said,”Agriculture, as it is the first, the most noble, and the most useful of all the arts, shall be honored and protected,” – connoting for me, that the earth and anything related to it is sacred and like a woman’s womb, is the source of all life.
But when I think about the devastation and loss of life caused by this year’s earthquake I find it ironic that the earth which is supposed to sustain life took so many away. The earthquake also ripped thousands of families apart. Many mothers have had to leave their children with relatives in order to find a better home for their family. Others, upon learning of the death of their loved ones, have resorted to more drastic measures. One mother committed suicide after learning that her one only child had died.
This year, the traditional custom of wearing a black or purple flower for Haitians who have lost their mothers or red flowers for those mothers still living had extra poignancy. Many Haitians chose to wear a black or a purple flower out of respect for all of Haiti’s mothers who passed away.
In thinking about this particular Mothers’ Day in Haiti I suggested to the student at Johns Hopkins Fair that life is very fragile – that he could lose his mother one day, in a matter of a second, and never get a chance to hear her “annoying” voice after she slips into silence of death.
True, not everyone has a great relationship with their mother. Even those of us who do sometimes think they can be annoying and meddling. Nonetheless, it is important to show them that we appreciate them. Precious moments can never be retrieved once they are lost.
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