Fri May 18, 2012
Actress, Morena Baccarin
Identity Issues
By Morena Baccarin, California – November 2010
As an actor you move around a lot. I was born in Rio, raised in New York, and now live somewhere between LA, New York. My mom was an actor as well and we lived somewhat of a gypsy life- but oddly not because of her career. The economy in Brazil was in the dumps and my parents decided that raising my brother and I abroad would be the smartest thing to do.
Rio had become the kind of place where walking down the street necessitated looking behind you every 15th step. I remember one time when my mom was walking my brother and I to school and a weird man came up to us and said I was his daughter and he had to take me away. I was probably six at the time. My mom played along and said she was just going to drop me off at school for him and he walked away.
That kind of paranoia and mental illness was all too common in a country that didn’t know how to take care of its own. “The poor are getting poorer and the rich, richer,” my mom would say.
That was a constant lament. There were a lot of sacrifices of course. My mom quit acting for a while and we lived away from our extended family, which is a big deal in Brazil. I grew up having my cousins as my best friends. My grandmother lived with us not because she was old but because that was what you did in Brazil.
My brother and I felt an immediate culture shock when we moved to New York, but we adapted. I remember getting kudos from my elementary school teacher for saying “world” really well. That’s a hard word to say if you come from Brazil. There is no combination of “r-l-d” in Portuguese. We had become “Americanized.”
My brother and I have spent the majority of our lives in the US. But when we get to Brazil for a family visit it’s as if a whole new side of us comes out.
A part of me that lies dormant while I’m in the US wakes up when I am home. I feel like I can take a deeper breath. And the way the sun burns through my skin, right into my heart, reminds me of where I am from. It’s a feeling of wholeness that I don’t get to experience often. And that first taste of coconut water drunk right out of the actual coconut walking down the beach – well, there is nothing like it.
Everybody is saying Brazil’s economy is doing great right now. They are saying the country has finally ended so many years of government corruption. I’m happy Brazil is doing well. Not just for my family but for a country that I love. And I hope it’s not just for the Olympics and The World Cup. I hope it’s for good. Would I move back?
Since emigrating to the US at such a young age have grown up believing you can do whatever you set your mind to. Growing up in the US has given me the foundation and education for achieving my highest goals. I don’t think it’s impossible to achieve your dreams in Brazil but it’s definitely harder.
Brazil is a country of such beauty and passion, where people feel a real love for life, but it is also a place where people feel oppressed by their lack of options.
My life is here now, in the land of possibilities. After all, the US is the country that elected Barak Obama. But, Brazil will always be a part of me. I guess I can’t exist and be who I am without both.
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